If you were an NPC in SotA what would your dialogue be?

My name isn't important, I'm a guard as you can see and my health is on a descending branch now, because I'm forced to answer all these silly questions.

 

Give me some gold and I'll tell you where you can buy some herb.

 

(This must be one of my favourite threads.. ever )

 

Sometimes I have this strange notion that I wasn't born.

 

So, you're not from around here, how's 'bout you and me go off behind that shade tree?

Can you explain why that mess in the sky exists?

Ever wonder why the spiders and flies around here are smarter than we are?

 

<Player walks up to me, the NPC>

- Hi

- Hail and well met Outlander! I understand that your kind is not well-liked in our cities, but I am one of the exceptional people who enjoy a good conversation with characters such as yourself. Allow me to introduce our fine city to you, there is a tavern around this unspecified corner, a potion shop around that unspecified corner who will be willing to buy any of your junk at unbelievably fair prices and not try to gouge your coin purse, a magical talking cat in a far unknown location and has absolutely nothing to do with this conversation but you should consider investigating if you are up to it. Incidentally, there is some interesting news that you might want to take note of, candle prices have gone up by thirty gold pieces in recent days, due to an undead uprising in Braemar and Owl's Head. I know, those cities are such a blight, causing the good inhabitants of Novia such distress - incidentally, you happen to have come from that island, are you in anyway related to the undead uprising? If you are, I would recommend you speak to the Captain of the Guard here, of which he patrols the entire city and may take you a long time to find since I do not have a magical spell for locating him. Did you have any questions for me Outlander, I know some of the citizens here can be long-winded and may not cut to the bone, beat about the bush and say a lot about nothing!

- long-winded

- Outrageous! Are you referring to me?! I've been so kind to entertain you with such detailed information on the whereabouts of interesting points for you to explore! I somehow knew that what they say in the taverns is true about you Outlander folk, you are all so rude and always about in a huff and a puff. I should have known better than to give you the time of day and answer all your questions, what do you have to say in your defense? To think that so many Outlanders have been buying up all our houses, I don't even have a house of my own to live in! Have you ever noticed how we all stand around at the market, day and night, night and day, and not go anywhere? This is clearly the fault of either black magic or your kind Outlander. If I were any less of an upstanding citizen, I would say that you should jump on my sword while you can, I won't be as gentle! Goodbye!

- Goodbye

- Goodbye! It was nice speaking to you!

 

At this rate, I think the Devs will seriously reconsider the wisdom of giving us permission to customise NPC conversations.

 

@Sunswords LOL. had a big laugh about your post above.

 

NPC to Avatar: The difference between you and me is that you are a brainless puppet reacting to comands of a User sitting in front of a computer and i am living with peace and harmony until such a puppet like you disturbs me with stupid questions forcing me to use autoresponds!

 

Name, Job, Sexual Practices, bye

Or I would recite the whole of Men in tights and Monty python quotes all day

 

Oo oOO OoOO oOOo. OoO Oo OooOOoOooo Oo oo OOooOooo!

 

What is your Name

What is your quest?

What is your favourite coloUr?"

What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is the capital of Assyria?

What is your name?

what is your quest?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

 

African or European?

 

-To be fair, please feel free to call me "Inlander."

-Have you heard about the battle for power between the various city-states of Novia? So much strife could be resolved simply by instituting my 'regional time' idea.

-The Oracle speaks all, sees all, hears all. *toot* But she doesn't smell all!

-I've been told 'there is no underwear in space'. Well, there's no *not* underwear in New Britannia.

-What's that, there? Just behind you! (looks directly and points into the camera at you, the gamer)

-My lord once asked me to pay him fealty. I said, "what do you want, gold, bit-coin, or add-on store credit?"

 

What is toothpaste?

 

Wow! You come from where?

How did you get here?

Can you show me this 'magic portal' you speak of? (they follow you to the lunar rift, then excitedly step into it and disappear)

Have you seen where all the children went?

Have you noticed that there are no babies or pregnant women?

Have you ever seen a baby satyr? Terrifying!

Sometimes I get the strange feeling that I'm not any older today than I was yesterday.

Does this tunic make me look fat?

Do you know anyone who will sell me a duck?

 

My dialogue:

Name?​

​

Job? ​

​

Bye.​

Let's see how the player likes being on the receiving end, for once!

 

(After witnessing your resurrection after being slain by a satyr.)

How did you suddenly come back to life like that? You're some sort of demon!

(Screams as he runs away )

OR

Ouch, that must have hurt! Care for a mug of Fire Mountain ale?

(Cheerfully offers you some, which he purchased at The Bear Tavern )

 

Hey, you look just like me!

Because of you, my wife thinks I've been cheating on her with multiple women and threw me out of the house!

 

-A traveler and his clockwork llama walk into an inn.

The weary traveler requests a room for the night, and the innkeeper asks, 'Will you need a wake up call?'

The man replies, 'No thanks, I've got a llama clock!